The Most Important Thing

Throughout this 3v3 blog, I’ve discussed several skills and strategies to help coaches prepare players for 3v3 tournaments; but the most important thing coaches can do is prepare players for life.

I try to instill the value of practice by showing how all the successes on the field directly relate to the amount of hard work and effort put in. I remind players of what they were like when they first started or what happened when they first tried a fancy move they since mastered; and I explain how all these same principles, regardless of soccer, can apply to other areas of their life. To achieve dreams, set goals and work hard; but to really enjoy achievements, they should follow the path of a good person.

It’s sad to see what some coaches teach their players. Perhaps they don’t realize the influence they have. I’ve had opponents disqualified when I proved their players were overage. (The head coach of my son’s team tried to place an overage player on our team, claiming it was okay because the player wasn’t good. I removed my son from that team and started my own.) I get frustrated if coaches don’t speak up to rectify blatant rule violations. In one game, a referee reversed three blatant calls against us when I showed him the rules sheet, but instead of the other team helping, the coach remained silent while his parents yelled at me and asked the referee who was calling the game. The coach knew the rules, yet he refused to help. On the other hand, I’ve often sided with opponents. For example, I saw an opponent’s player cross midfield, shoot and score, tying the game against us, but the referee couldn’t remember if the player had crossed the line so he disallowed the goal. The other coach argued, and I spoke up on his behalf. They got their goal. We still won the game, and it showed my players we could be honest and still win. At one Nationals, one of my players got a yellow card; but the father wanted his son to switch jerseys with another player in case his son got a second yellow and would have to sit out games. I told the father, “If your son gets another yellow, he will sit out.”

If coaches allow cheating and dishonesty, their players will think it is okay to cheat in other areas of life. Always remember the influence a coach can make. Teach your players to win the right way.

[I hadn’t planned on writing another entry, but I discovered some of my old rival teams recently having players thrown out of games and their teams disqualified. They often asked my teams to join them or for me to help train their players; but I always refused, not because they were rivals, but I didn’t want my players to catch their ideology. This week my son disqualified himself from a golf tournament after he realized the scorecard he signed was three strokes better and would have placed him with the leaders. While I wasn’t happy he assumed the other boy had written the scores correctly, I was proud that he came forward, because no one would have known otherwise. I take that back. He would have known. And I can’t help to think that the way we played soccer all those years influenced his behavior.]